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Fear of Being Yourself

Fear of Being YourselfPhoto by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash

In November 2017, I big-chopped. I decided I no longer wanted to process my hair and so I went “natural”. But, I wanted to do so without the transition period. Why am I telling you this? Stick around, I have a point, I promise.

Counting my childhood, this will be the third time I’ve been “natural”. And I’ve had dozens of failed attempts in the years in-between. I think this time it’ll stick. The difference is the journey I’ve been on. I've realized a lot of women are not satisfied with what they have.

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Oh, I learnt early on that thin girls want to put on weight, fat girls want to be thin, girls with boobs want a little less, and flat-chested girls want a little more. But the travesty goes a little deeper than that.

Fair girls want to be dark, dark girls want to be fair, curly girls want straight hair, and straight-haired girls want to be curly. It’s like we’re never satisfied! Which makes me wonder – are we afraid to be ourselves?

What is it that makes women intrinsically dissatisfied with who they are? Please, don’t misunderstand – I know there are some women who are perfectly fine with everything they see in the mirror - but the majority of women I’ve met have claimed some flaw about themselves, either physical, mental or emotional. 

The Big, Fat Lie

In fact, the beauty industry thrives by spending billions of advertising dollars each year trying to convince women if they only had this one thing they’d finally be happy, or perfect or content. They play into the belief that there’s something wrong with us and because there is, we have to fix it. And fix it fast. But it’s a lie - a ginormous, catawampus lie.

No amount of money spent on this earth can “fix” the thing that’s wrong with us. 

Sin and Fear

Genesis 1 and 2 tell us everything God created was good. The word translated ‘good’ in our English Bibles is the Hebrew word tobe. Tobe could also have been translated as better or best. I like to think when God created the world and everything in it He said it was “good, better, best.” In other words, it was perfect.

It was the serpent who first inferred something was wrong with the woman. Because she did not have the knowledge of good and evil, she wasn’t perfect and we’ve been falling for his lies ever since.

But God -

But God is faithful in that while we were yet sinners He died for us. While we were still on the fence about whether or not we believed in God, He died.

When we still weren’t sure if the perfect outfit could somehow fill the longing of our heart, He died.

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How to Overcome the Fear of Being Yourself

Remember that Jesus is the answer (John 14:6).

The way we overcome the fear of being our true selves, is to embrace who we truly are. We accept ourselves – bumps and all. Oh, there are many resources telling you to “look inside yourself” for the answer to love yourself, and I hate to disappoint, but the answer is not found in you. The answer is found in Christ.

Remember that God created us in His image (Genesis 1:26).

God the Father loved us so much, He sent His Son to die for us (John 3:16).

God the Son voluntarily went to the cross and died one of the most vicious deaths of His time. He did it so we can have the opportunity to mend our relationship with the Heavenly Father (Matthew 27:45-50).

Remember that we are complete in Jesus (Colossians 2:10).

God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – pursues us out of a deep love for us. God wants us to connect to Him and to serve Him. He wants us to love Him just an inkling of the way He loves us. The whole Bible is a tale of this pursuit. Your life is a depiction of the love God has for you.

God loves you. Embrace the God who created you. Celebrate the person whom God created you to be

God loves you. Embrace the God who created you. Celebrate the person He created you to be.

Challenge: What are the things about yourself – personality or physical traits -  that you struggle to accept?

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