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The Fear of Rejection

The Fear of RejectionPhoto by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

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You’re in love with someone but he doesn’t want you. You put your heart into doing an assignment but it wasn’t good enough. You tried to touch the pretty baby but she turned away from you and started crying. You wanted your parent’s approval but you did not receive it. Rejection. It’s everywhere in this world, no wonder we fear it. 

Why Do We Fear Being Rejected?

Dictionary.com defines rejection as:

·        to refuse to have, take, recognize, etc.

·        to refuse to grant (a request, demand, etc.).

·        to refuse to accept (someone or something); rebuff

·        to discard as useless or unsatisfactory

·        to cast out or eject; vomit.

·        to cast out or off.

·  Medicine/Medical (of human or other animal) to have an immunological reaction 

against (a transplanted organ or grafted tissue)

The fear of rejection goes back to Adam and Eve after The Fall. Think about it, before Eve sinned, they were told that eating the forbidden fruit would result in death. I think they thought it would be a physical and immediate death. That’s why when Eve ate the fruit she gave it to her husband. “After all” she probably rationalized, “God said I would die and I did not.”

While they did not physically die for many years, what they did experience was in some ways worse.

·        They were turned out from their home.

·        Two animals died to provide clothing for them.

·        Other animals would die on their behalf from that moment onwards.

·        They would no longer be able to have face to face conversations with their Creator and Friend. That relationship was forever damaged.

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Can you imagine how rejected they must have felt when God told them they had to leave? Can you imagine how horrible it was to see their home guarded by armed guards (aka angels with swords)?

How about God’s side of the story? When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit they rejected God. They decided that His words were invalid and that they could be discarded.

Rejection is a very disruptive and destructive emotion.

Learning To Fight A Fear Of Rejection

God never rejects us.

When we are rejected, we interpret it as a judgment of ourselves. We believe that we are rejected because we were not good enough – something about us, made the person not want to accept us. The best way to fight this fear is with truth.

God created this world for us. He made sure that everything that we needed was put in place before He made us, including the plan of salvation. God knew we would sin and still He made us because He loved us.

Let me put it in more relatable terms: a woman knows that a child will hurt her emotionally during his lifetime, yet every day women make the choice to become mothers. A man knows that a child will challenge him on many levels, but every day men make the decision to become fathers.

Knowing that we are loved in this manner does something to us. It gives us an intrinsic value. When you know that God knows everything about you and still loves you … it does something to you. You start to believe that you are precious.

How do we fight rejection? By focusing on the love of our Heavenly Father God and Jesus the Son.

Challenge: How has a fear of rejection affected your life?

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